Happy February! As valentine's day gets closer, were taking a peek at the basic needs of a romantic relationship.

Many of us tend to think of “surrender” as a dirty word. I often see an incredulous expression on clients’ faces when I talk about the act of surrendering; it is like I am asking them to give up or give in. But, actually, surrendering is sometimes empowering. It asks us to let go, or at least to loosen our grip. By submitting to certain situations and circumstances, we place trust in the process of life. Whatever the outcome may be is merely a natural development. When we are no longer over-governing our lives, our minds can be clear of distracting thoughts.

Unless you actively work on building a comprehensive relationship with your parents, you may find that you don’t know much about them at all.

Do you feel close to your partner? How about your family and friends? What do you think is more important in your life: feeling connected or being valued?

How do you gauge your reaction to situations? Have you ever thought that your reaction was not right for a particular situation? Has anyone ever pointed this out to you, remarking that your reaction was not appropriate?

My son recently asked me if I was his friend. “No,” I answered. “I am your mom.”

Forgiveness is a hot topic. Everyone likes to talk about completing the task, myself included. In fact, I have even sponsored Dr. Fred Luskin, the director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project and professor at the Institute for Transpersonal Psychology. Dr. Luskin has written many books on the subject that theorize the various benefits of forgiveness.

You might have heard of the term “cosmic joke” — but what is it? This is when we have two ways of life or philosophies which contradict one another yet are both true. An example can be found in relationships: if someone is seeking support in exchange for security but is unable to satisfy that expectation without their own needs being fulfilled first.

Today is September 11th. For many Americans, it is both a day of sadness and one that breeds fear. It is also a day of remembrance; one in which we reflect on humanity and sacrifice. I would like to honor those who gave their lives to protect others, whether they were on a plane or serving their country on the ground. Our lives are valued by the amount of courage we bring to it, which is exactly what those brave people did on that fateful day. Join me in honoring their lives by pausing for a moment and giving thanks to those courageous heroes.

A friend of mine — who is a master of Kundalini yoga and meditation — once said this to me when we were having a conversation about mental health. While discussing what people find important in life, we explored how being passionate can influence our thoughts. Ever since, I have regularly returned to this statement and contemplated its implications.The truth is one of two options: based on facts or based on experiences.

Staying Neutral in life! What does that mean? It means “don’t lose your shit.” So many of us snap on a daily basis, from being cut off while driving, to a comment made by a colleague; reactions can be set off by small events or even thoughts. Snapping and losing your cool can be unhealthy adding stress to your body, self, and mind due to your glandular system overworking itself. This also affects your life and relationships as well.

“It is not the life you live; it is the courage you bring to it.”

We prefer not to walk through life feeling bad about ourselves. Although at times in our life… shame is a good thing.

We often want others to take care of us and then are mad when they don’t, and sometimes mad when they do. This is when we need to learn to Self-governance ourselves.

“How do you stay in the present moment when the present moment is sickening, sad, painful, or any horrible thing?” 

Do you know… really know what you want in life? I ask because, a handful of my patients manage to tell me things they don’t want in life, rather than what they do want in life. If we live life in the mindset that we don’t have control over things that happen in our lives, we get stuck in the mindset that we are indeed the victim. This makes finding what we do want in life a struggle.

We as a society are always trying to be happy. Most often the number one goal I hear from clients is “I want to be happy”. In response, I ask them “What does happiness look like to you?” This turns into a longer and deeper conversation.

There are over 40 million people (between the ages of 18-54) in the United States alone suffering from Anxiety. I personally think it’s double that because most people are not seeking help until it becomes worse and then it becomes a different issue… a health issue with health problems. Anxiety is when one loses their own vitality, juice for life, and fear takes over.

The trick to a good relationship lies within… communication and action. I think loving someone is easy because most of us can see the good in others. The relationship is a combination of our behavior towards ourself, the other person and the relationship. There is the me, the you and the we.

Understanding the difference between short term and long term gratification can be the doorway to truly understanding our own happiness and how to achieve it.