Maneuvering through the intricacies of relationships can be complicated, but the most complex relationship has to be the one between parent and child.
Although rewarding, parenting is an incredible challenge. Because you are the adult — and, therefore, a constant and unwavering authority figure — it is your responsibility to maintain your composure. This can be especially difficult if a child is unafraid of confrontation.
From experience, I know that children can press our buttons like no one else can. My son has mastered this “skill” of pushing me with success, even more than my partner ever has. Our children know us better than anyone else, so they are privy to our sore spots that can trigger unwanted emotions and expressions. With so much internalized angst, it’s no surprise that our children can sometimes lash out in such a way; they often don’t know any other healthy response. Learning to cope with this behavior not only benefits you in your role as a parent, but it also serves your child(ren) because it helps set a positive example.
When attempting to achieve this mutually healthy relationship, the objective for you — as the adult and parent — is to stay centered. Even in the midst of the most aggressive storm, you must remain calm. If you are unable to collect yourself, you need to remove yourself from the situation. Take a brief time-out. Not only will this shield your child from unsavory behavior, but it will also give you the space to recover and re-energize yourself.
I use chanting meditation to re-center myself. In fact, I also encourage my own children to incorporate chanting into their self-healing if they feel they are lost and uncontrolled.
Chanting is a free tool that anyone can learn to use and incorporate into their lives. When used routinely, it is quite effective. At first, it might feel uncomfortable; hearing yourself speak unfamiliar words will take some getting used to. However, once you adapt and learn to let go of your fears, this meditative tool will relax you. It will allow you to self-reflect so you can self-correct, giving you the strength to be a positive role model — especially to your children.